Single Energy

Another year of Valentine's Day has come and gone once again. I think I was single for last year's Valentine’s Day, but this year I’m in a relationship... I know in my last post I was single, but now in this post I'm in a relationship. I'll save that story for the next post. Anywho, it was our first Valentine’s Day together, and we’re still in the honey moon stage, so you know we had nasty plans. But y’all know that already. Everything I do is usually high on the freaky spectrum. We don’t need to dive into the details in this post anyway. (Insert evil laugh)

What I want to talk about is how I was told I shouldn’t be hanging with my single friends on Valentine’s Day because I was in a relationship. What kind of blasphemy is that?! I did not agree...

So here’s the back story: A week or so before the romantic holiday, me and the ladies discussed going to dinner to celebrate together. At this time, I wasn’t "officially" in a relationship, but I knew that’s where it was headed. Regardless, I was down to enjoy a night out with my girls, so I immediately said I was down!

The days dwindle down and Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. I texted my friend, who originally had the idea of us doing dinner together. I tell her about the plans me and my man had for Valentine’s Day...We had to make our plans for the day before since the holiday was on a weekday. She helped me make some final decisions. I could tell she was excited for me. That reminded me to ask her about the dinner because we hadn’t decided on a restaurant or date yet. She proceeds to tell me, "Girl, you can’t be single and in a relationship. Do your relationship stuff and leave the single stuff to the single people. "

"I can do both!" That was my first thought, because why the hell can’t I?! We always go out and do things together every other night. What does it matter if I’m in a relationship now?

She feels I’m in a different space, so I shouldn’t entertain old habits. She stated the reason for the dinner was for us to celebrate the holiday together since none of us were in a relationship. See, I didn’t know that... I thought we were just girlfriends, getting dressed up for the holiday and going to dinner.

The main point she was trying to make was that they were doing it because they "had to" treat themselves, support each other, and not feel left out during what may be a triggering holiday. She felt I was wanting to indulge in the wrong energy. I would’ve been around single energy, there would have been male bashing, talks of playing the dating game, and possible flirting with guys. She felt I should be with my honey, surrounded by our relationship energy.

She did make some very valid points. I should be with my man on the holiday, and I should not entertain old habits. But since we were celebrating the day before, I was free. When it comes to everything else, she said, "Well, I think that depends on the mindset you have going into the holiday.

For me, Valentine’s Day lost its love hype years ago. I’ve been single during the holidays, and I’ve also been in a relationship. I’ve had times where I got nothing for Valentine’s Day, and there have been relationships where they went all out for me. Nevertheless, my day usually ends the same way: with sex. That’s the most exciting part of the holiday! And that’s exactly what the holiday has become for me now; a day set aside to have Grade A, premium, hot sex!! So, even though me and Babe had a romantic night planned, we both knew what we were truly patiently anticipating... The Sex!!

With that in mind, of course, I didn’t think going to dinner with friends on Lovers' Day would have been a big deal. Hell, the only thing different in my life is that the headache I was just annoyed with has become my man. That doesn't mean he'll stop being a pain; I still have a man to whine about. In terms of energy, I've recently begun a relationship! I haven’t even washed all the singles off me yet. Maybe I need a little single energy to keep me humble. My point is, we could have done all the things that we normally do when we go out. My relationship status doesn’t define how I celebrate a holiday.

What I refuse to do on Lovers' Day is throw or attend a pity party. That’s what the dinner was made out to be once she explained its purpose. That’s not my type of scene... I don’t give pity to others and definitely not to myself. Date or no date, so what? The way I see it, if you love yourself, you will always have the best date for Valentine’s Day. Get sexy, go to dinner with your girls or by yourself, make yourself feel special. Don’t let this holiday make you feel like your significant other is the only person who can make you feel special.

There are no boundaries when it comes to love and relationships... So I feel the holiday that celebrates love and relationships shouldn’t have any either.

-MB