Impenetrable Wall

When it comes to relationships, I can tolerate a lot before I reach my breaking point. Even while dating, at a time when I shouldn’t be tolerating any bullshit, I’m bending and breaking for "possible baes." I can tolerate things most women will not.

I live by the Golden Rule: "Treat others the way you would want to be treated." For most situations, this rule is what I go by, unless you have what I feel to be an "unforgivable past." Everybody has a past, or what I like to call, a story. No two people's stories will ever be the same. Though they may be similar, they will never be identical. So, since everyone’s story is different, you can’t handle every person the same way.

I’m a chameleon. I was blessed with the ability to feel out a situation and adjust to anything. For example, if a person responds better to tough love, I’m able to sense it and adjust. There are a lot of people out there who have been cheated on, abused mentally, physically, and emotionally. These are just horrible things. You never know how damaged a person is until you are getting to know them. Some people put walls up so they can protect their hearts. Some let the past go and move on. I evaluate each situation differently and I take the necessary steps to try to adjust.

I was previously talking to someone who was damaged as fuck, but you wouldn't have known that when first meeting him. He had a lot of confidence and seemed so sure of himself when we first started talking.

When I would try to get to know him, he would give me short answers or respond rudely, making sure I knew I was firmly in the friend zone. I knew then that he had had a bad past. I’m an upfront person, so I brought up what I’ve been noticing. He confirms his troubled past and states he’s since put up a wall. This wall, on the other hand, was impenetrable. I’m pretty sure his wall had an electric fence surrounding it and rabid pit bulls protecting the inside! Most women wouldn’t even put in the effort to try to gain his trust.He had built a wall so high and so tough that it was like pulling teeth to get to know him.

I could see the light in the darkest of places, and I could see his light even if it was dim... I wanted to get to know the light side of him. I put in the time to get the wall down and found the light. Unfortunately, when I did finally find the light, he had emotionally abused me so much that the romantic feelings I had for him had fizzled out. His appreciation of me came too late, and he ended up missing out.

My friends got on me so badly when I was dealing with him. They thought I was wasting my time. But I didn’t look at it as a waste either. I saw a man who had been damaged but was desperately wanting to trust again. All he needed was to meet someone who he could actually trust. He needed someone who was committed. He was used to people walking out on him, so although I knew my romantic feelings were gone, I knew I couldn’t give up on him. I was there for him every time he needed me, as soon as I met him. It wasn’t easy and it definitely wasn’t fun the whole time, but now his light is back. It’s such a bright light too! He let his wall down. He was able to put his pride aside and thank me for being "a light in his world of darkness." I appreciated his thanks, but I didn’t need it. I’m something like a soul doctor; I try to make sure people are keeping their souls happy.

-MB