I think we can all admit that getting to know someone new is one of the many hard parts of dating... It doesn't matter if you're a "people person," getting to know someone you've never met before is difficult. You meet them, and it can go one of two ways: The first is that you guys hit it off as soon as you meet each other, and the date goes smoothly. The vibes are definitely flowing... Or it could go south, the kind of date where you guys meet and have nothing to talk about... Every topic is forced and short-lived.
After entering the dating world again, that was the part I dreaded the most: having to get to know someone new... especially since more than likely I’d have to do it multiple times. When it came down to it, most of the time, I didn’t give too much information about myself until I felt we were actually going somewhere. Once I felt like we were, I would open up...
The flame in a relationship starts with communication...The "getting to know you" phase is based around it. Getting to know someone can be difficult at times. Being able to let your wall down and let someone know personal things about you is tough. But at some point, we all run out of things to talk about. We have run out of questions to ask... things to say... It can make things awkward or make you feel like you weren't vibrating as you thought. Don't give up, my friend. I was a fan of the game "21 Questions" when I was in high school and still use this game as an adult...I like to play this game to ask the more risque questions. Even so, I occasionally run out of questions and turn to Google to look up some possible answers. But a lot of the questions you find are either common questions you’ve already asked or just seem silly. So what I like to do is put a little twist on the questions I find.
Here’s my list of questions I came up with to asked Mr. Perfect during our round of “21 Questions”...
What happened in your last relationship?
Have you ever been hurt?
What’s your love language?
Do you want kids?
What are you looking for?
What’s important to you in a relationship?
How is your relationship with your parents?
What’re some of your turn-offs?
What’re some of your turn-ons?
What makes you happy instantly?
How important is sex in a relationship?
How do you handle your anger?
Do you like giving head?
What’s your favorite position?
What’s your biggest darkest secret?
What motivates you?
How do you feel about “Happily ever after”?
How would you describe yourself in 3 words?
What song resembles your personality?
Tell me about your zodiac sign?
What’s the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Asking him these questions led to deeper conversations... this is definitely a great "get to know you" game.
If that doesn’t work, you could try a game I like to call "1 Choice." This game is a little easier. All you have to do is give your partner 2 choices, and they can only pick one. For example, you would say, "Cookies or Cake?" and they can only choose 1. The fun mystery about this game is that the person doesn’t know in what context you are referring to when you throw out your choices. If your options were "chocolate syrup or whip cream," you could either think I’m talking about condiments for ice cream, or if your mind is in the gutter, you’re thinking about which you would rather lick off someone or vise versa. This is surely a game that can get the conversation flowing.
This last game I like to play, I feel is the hardest. We’ve all played this game before. "2 Truths and a Lie"... If you’ve never played it, each person takes turns thinking of 2 truths and a lie about themselves. You tell your partner your answers and, afterward, they have to guess which one is a lie. This is a little difficult because you don’t want to just throw some crazy lie out there like "I’ve been to the moon" because clearly that's not true. You want to choose a lie that is slightly more credible than the others. Example: "I've kissed a dolphin." This could or could not be true for anyone. It can also be difficult to come up with facts after a while. This game helps you remember the crazier things that you’ve done and learn about the crazy things others have done. This is usually my last choice when choosing my "get to know you" game. Although fun, I run out of interesting truths after awhile.
Hopefully, one of these "get to know you" games will work for you. Try to keep the questions light and fun, no one wants to feel like they’re being interrogated. These games should be fun for both of you!
-MB