What is love, actually? Outside of an emotion or feeling, what is it? Is it an action? Is it a person? What does it look like?
The answers, I feel, are endless... Because love is a different picture for everybody, no two visions of love will ever be the same, close but never the exact same.
Unfortunately, the word "love" gets tossed around so easily nowadays that the value the word used to have is somewhat tarnished. I was being told "I love you" by the same people who were causing me the most pain. It discredited the meaning and feelings that the word was originally built on.
Love is not love without the actions to match it! We forget that sometimes because we get wrapped up in the emotions and fairytale aspect of it. But it is the actions where feelings are planted. And just like a plant, it takes continued acts of care and attention for those feelings to grow into something stronger. But also like plants, every one has different "care instructions."
It is important to start putting a "face with a name." Meaning, what does love look like to you? What do you see when you think "love"?
Imagine it for a second... Close your eyes...
Think of what you want your love to feel like. Then paint a picture of what that looks like to you in your head. It doesn’t have to be a big picture, just moments that would be special for you or moments that are filled with love.
I envision long mornings stuck laying in bed talking, because we don’t want to start the day just yet. A simple breakfast was cooked and enjoyed by the both of us on Sunday morning. I see us spontaneously dancing and singing at the top of our lungs, not caring if anyone is watching. Long embraces just because we remember how lucky we are to have each other. I see laughter and head nods, which indicate that conversation and communicating is easy. I see date nights where we crave each other from the time we leave the house, but we still take our time to enjoy the night out.
Now notice... My love looks like normal moments of happiness shared between me and my partner. But what is it in these moments that makes me think "love?"
My love looks like comfort and transparency. A person who looks at me and sees me, actually sees me! Someone who is drawn to my positive aura doesn’t want to take from it but to make sure it always shines bright. They will embrace my positive spirit and learn how to feed it.
Someone who sees what I deserve before I even have to open my mouth to tell them. If I do have to tell them, I want it to be confirmation of what they already saw I deserved. Hell, I want them to think I deserve more than what I’m requesting.
My love will be unapologetic. I want my special someone to see me and know I would never do anything out of malice. Someone who knows I'll never intentionally hurt the people I care about. My mistakes will be lessons for the both of us, not just a lecture for me.
It will be solid. Not solid in the sense of feelings, but solid in the sense of security. You will see our connection even when we're not around each other. You are my person and I am yours. We are one.
My love will be passionate; every day will feel like the first day. We will take every free moment to share a kiss, a gaze, a hug, hold hands, etc. Passion will flow through us like an electric current. When we touch or lock eyes, it’ll be like a charge going through our bodies. We’ll yearn for it.
It all comes back to how I envisioned myself feeling in those moments; comfortable, secure, loved, and deserving. Once I figured out what I wanted my love to look like, I was able to answer all those questions from the beginning and more. Its the smaller things that make me the happiest. That's what love looks like to me, small moments of happiness.
Envision the love you want and use that as your guide. Being loved is an incredible feeling, but seeing your vision of love in action is absolutely beautiful.
-MB