Ever met a guy and he was really speaking your language, but he wasn’t actually speaking? You were just feeling everything he was doing. He was doing all the right things, like giving compliments and touching you in the right places. He was speaking your love language.
How do you like to be loved or show love? Are you touchy-feely and/or like to cuddle? Or maybe you like giving gifts and receiving them? Or you could show love just by showing and being supportive. Knowing this information will help you be able to communicate what kind of love you and your partner respond best to.
There are five different love languages: acts of service, quality time, words of affirmation, physical touch, and receiving gifts.
Acts of service occur when your partner performs a task that you would normally have to perform, such as washing dishes or cooking dinner. When your partner decides to do things like this on their own, those are acts of service.
I’m sure we all know what quality time is. You like spending one-on-one time with your partner. You appreciate it when your partner makes time for just you and them.
If words speak louder than actions to you, then you’ll probably rank high in words of affirmation. Hearing sweet things from your partner makes you happiest. You appreciate it when they not only say "I love you" but also explain why.
I feel everyone can relate to the physical touch love language, but it doesn’t necessarily mean just sex though. If you rank high in physical touch, it's most likely because you like simple touches like holding hands, light touches on your arm or shoulder, hugs, etc.
The last one is receiving gifts. This one also kind of explains itself. If you rank high in receiving gifts, it doesn’t make you materialistic or a gold digger. You simply appreciate the thought behind receiving a gift.
OK, now that I’ve kind of broken down the love languages, let me tell y’all what my quiz said about me!
The test involves a series of would-you-rather questions with suggested answers that co-inside with the love languages. When you take the test, try not to answer as you feel you’re "supposed" to. This will give you misguided results. You should be honest with your answers; don’t be ashamed that you like what you like!
I took the test thinking I was going to rank high in physical touch because I love to cuddle, hug, kiss, etc., but I was surprised by my results. My highest score was for Acts of Service, where I scored a 9. But this made sense because I am such a giver and expect nothing in return. When someone does something nice for me out of the kindness of their heart, I’m really appreciative. Things like warming up the car, cleaning the house, and walking the dog without being told are significant to me.
My second highest score was quality time. Now this didn’t surprise me. I love some uninterrupted alone time. When my partner makes time in his day just for me and me alone, it shows me that he cares about keeping my attention and vice versa. We don’t have to do anything fancy or over the top. Maybe a Netflix and Chill night or a walk in the park would be all I need.
Next comes Words of Affirmation. Sometimes actions don’t speak as loudly as we think they do. With this language, I like to hear not only that I’m loved but the reasons for that love. Hearing the reminder of how lucky my partner feels to have me makes me feel good. I love hearing praise from my partner. Let me know how proud you are of me or compliment me on my beauty when I'm not looking my best. Little things definitely go a long way with me.
The one I expected to be higher on my list is actually the one I expected to be lower on my list. Physical touch comes in 4th place for me. I think I understand why. Clearly, a supportive partner is important to me. Although words of endearment are sweet to hear, sometimes a touch will make the moment that much sweeter. So a congratulatory hug or kiss would probably make my heart sing.
In last place, receiving gifts I’ve never been big on receiving gifts. I’m usually the one who GIVES the gifts and don’t usually expect anything in return. I wondered why that was and felt it could be because none of my recent partners had ever gotten me gifts. I got used to the feeling of not receiving them and adjusted mentally. Don’t get me wrong, I still would love to get them and would appreciate them, but my feelings aren’t hurt if I don’t receive them.
My results made me sit down and ask myself a lot of questions. I was sure I knew how I needed to be loved, but this test proved I didn’t know shit about what I needed... But I’m glad I have somewhere to start learning. I’m able to communicate this information to my partner, and we can figure it out together.
Have your partner take the test with you so you can learn their love language at the same time. The results from this test will provide a new channel of communication in your relationship.
I’ve attached the website below for the Love Language Quiz. Take it! You’ll thank me later.
-MB
